11.20.2004

Sorry for me, by Me.

I cried today. Like, a for real cry. I could have cried and cried, but I was trying to let my massage therapist do some work on my apparently causeless injury. I am in heavy duty pain due to some kind of shoulder/neck/rib situation. Whatever it is, it hurts like a mofo, hard to sleep. Really want to go out tonight, but am trying to get better and stuff. Poop. My friend is in town from LA and everything. Sad me. Sad me all the time, anyway. PMS not helping matter. Ok. hurts to type for too long. STUPID! I am feeling petulant and grumpy. My shoulder is achey and there is no one here to rub my feet. Grrr.

I went back to work this week. It was joyless, but fine. I don't know what's going to take me out of the mire and get me booty shaking again. Not getting headaches would be a start.

I am obviously feeling very complainy. I shall stop torturing you with it now. I am so fucking sad. I miss Phil. I really, really miss him. It's becoming visceral. I'm nauseous and sore. I feel like wearing a t-shirt that says "my dad just died" so people will know why I'm so weird. Like on the street and stuff. In stores. Everywhere. I get the old tradition of wearing a veil when you're in mourning. That would be comforting. Maybe I'll just get terribly eccentric for a while. Heh. That cheers me up a bit, wearing giant hats with feathers and veils and shoes and skirts that flatter my long legs.

Ok. I feel a little better. Except for the pain. ARGH! I'm going for a walk.

x
r.

1 comment:

RAGE GIRL! said...

black armband. Traditional, subtle and gets the point across that you're in mourning. Psychologically it's a good thing too because it lets you feel what you need to feel without the pressure to conform.

And you can wear the thing for a whole year if you need to. :)