I got it!

A very good friend of mine told me never to forget this feeling. I had the most amazing set last night at the Urban Well.

(By the way, I'm at the El Cocal tonight).

Yesterday was the strangest day.

It started out with a trip to the doctor for an early morning cold speculum injection. It's true. Nothing like a pelvic exam to start your day. Cracks me up when my doctor is all chatty while she's got two fingers shoved up my woo.

Then I had a nice lunch with my good friend Siobhan.

Then it got weird.

I went to a therapy appointment and talked about my dad and was all over the map with being sad and angry and confused and disappointed and tired.....I just kind of wanted to punch things, and I was being kind of obstinate about talking about things, and my therapist, while a nice woman, maybe is too nice. I don't know. Anyway, I left there feeling very edgy and went off to my next thing.

On the way over the Burrard bridge I was all unfocused and weepy and nearly killed me and at least two other carloads....nothing actually happened, but I wasn't paying attention and had to swerve to miss slamming into the back of someone. This made me even edgier.

So I show up where I'm supposed to meet this friend to get his cd from him, and I'm all weepy and punchy and it becomes very apparent that we want to be more than friends, which is complicated for various reasons, well, one reason....mr. married. So we're going to be friends, but first we have to get past the part where we admitted we've been wanting each other since we first met a couple of years ago, and he admitted that he shows up to comedy nights hoping I will be there. (He's a comic, as well, so it's not weird that he's hanging around comedy nights). Then we kissed. I know. I know! Then we agreed to just hang out. I have to make decisions that are better for me than I used to. I'd rather end up with a close friend and colleague that respects me than a mashed up heart and a guy that looks at me like I ruined his life. But I will say that I think this happened to remind me how I don't want anything less than to be totally adored and cherished. Because that's what I give of myself. So this stuff with trying to look cool and not call me for days because that seems cooler....it's such bullshit. I hate bullshit. If you like me, just like me. Because if I like you, I have no patience for your games. Let's just get on with the liking, that's the meaty good stuff.

He's the second person in a short time to bring up how intense I am. I have been deluding myself into thinking I could be not intense, but forget it. I am totally intense. So. There.

So then I raced off to my show at the Well and had the best fucking set. My stepmother was there, which was so great. I really wanted her to see me do well at what I love to do, and she did. It's important to me that the people close to me know as well as I do that I'm doing the right thing with my life. I finally figured out how to be myself on stage, and that I can trust that if I just get up there and start talking about shit, my jokes will fall where they need to.

I'm at the El Cocal tonight, so we'll see if I can continue the learning curve.

Now really really late for a rehearsal.



New glasses, new world.

You'll notice that my entries are getting few and far between, and lacking in bulk, or girth, or something. I would apologize, but who the hell would I be apologizing to? Myself, I guess.

I got new glasses today. Very exciting. My prescription had changed quite a bit, so my vision has been compromised for a while. It's a pleasure to see everything so crisply. And to relax my face. I don't think I realized how much I was squinting. Of course, now I'm afraid I'll scratch them, which I inevitably will, I just hope it's not for a few months at least. They're super foxy, these specs, probably the sexiest glasses I've had. Hot.

I saw the most remarkable piece of theatre on Friday night. It's called "You Are Here", by Daniel McIvor. Anyone who knows the work of this stand out Canadian playwright knows that when you do a piece of his you are starting from an elevated point, so you'd really have to fuck it up to fuck it up. The production that's running at Performance Works on Granville Island is devastatingly beautiful. Colleen Wheeler is the lead and she is mind blowing. Anyway, it made my sob my little heart out, got into a very tender place about my dad. I had just been kind of ripened for a big sobfest anyway, due to the fact that when I was out for dinner with Warren the other night we heard Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" on the radio and that set me off. My dad loved the Boss, and I followed suit, with great sentimental attachment to the music. Guess I hadn't heard any since Phil died, so it was shocking to realize it could be so affecting. So I was just ready to burst at the play, and the dam just crumbled. Good cry, and very sympathetic strangers bringing me kleenex at intermission, saying that when they saw it the first time that's what happened to them, too. The first time. That should say something. That people are going back to see this show again and again. That never happens. Go see it.

It's confusing to be really happy and really sad at the same time. It's a full heart, that's for sure.

I just got a call to go down to Bellingham and play with Ryan Stiles. I am fucking giddy. Not just at his theatre, but WITH him. HA!!

It's been quite wonderful to go back to doing standup again. I've changed. I think it's because of two things: Performing so much as an improvisor in the last few months, and my dad dying. All of a sudden I have all the confidence in the world. I just want to be up there doing it, whether it goes well or not. I have total faith in my stage presence. My material has a lot of catching up to do, but I feel like that's a road I'm willing to travel. I have a lot of patience for the material. I was frustrated with my own fear holding me back, and I think that is seriously ebbing. I just don't feel afraid, I only feel like finally, finally my life is happening the way I want it. I have my moments where I wish it had come together like this while I was younger, but I suppose we are all ready for things when we are ready. And I'm ready.

Plus it's spring. So everyone's all flirty and smiley and it's awesome. I love love. I love this time of year. Sheesh. I'm giddy. Sob sob. See? It's confusing.


Next post - show dates and times.


Show Times

I'm standing up and doing comedy these times:

Thursday, March 24th, Zizanie, 7th & Fir, 9:30pm. (for sure!)

Sunday, March 27th, DV8, Davie between Richards & Seymour, 10pm.

More to come....



Oooh, fancy schmancy.

I. Am. So. Full.

Went to dinner with my mummy and brother and we ordered too much food. It's so easy to do at Bin 942, because you think everything is going to be all tapas sized, and it is, but it's so rich and delicious that you kind of overdo it. In a kind of fun, first world problem kind of way. Poor me, too much food!

Now I'm back at home and playing with the new computer. Oh, man. I'm so in love with my purty new iBook G4 and iPod mini....slutty, no?

Sorry if any of you turned up at Zizanie last night... never did confirm that show date. But I'm definitely at DV8 on Sunday. I had a great time at El Cocal on Wednesday. It was a small crowd, and kind of a weak show, but my set was solid, and I remembered how much I love doing comedy. It felt totally different than it ever has before. Somewhere along the line doing all this performing as an improvisor has really boosted my faith in myself as a presence on stage. So that's a fear I don't have to address now, and now I can just concentrate on being funny, connecting with the audience and having a good time. Which I did. So I'm going to try to book lots of shows, so there will be lots of chances to see me in action. Action!

I'm going to watch some dvd's now. Curl up on the couch with the cat. My roommates are away for the weekend, so I have all this nice alone time. Very refreshing.

Stay tuned for announcements regarding a weekly show hosted and produced by the Stretch Mouth'd Rascalls. We rule, and you will not be sorry when you come see us do our thang.




Upcoming Shows

I'm doing standup comedy shows this week people. Not to mention high potential of thoughtful prose coming your way.

Wednesday, March 16th, El Cocal, 1033 Commercial Drive, at Napier, 9:30ish, $3

Thursday, March 17th, (to be confirmed), Zizanie, 7th and Fir, 9:30, no cover

Sunday, March 20th, DV8, Davie between Seymour and Richards, 10pm, pretty sure there's no cover.

Stay tuned to find out when the star studded Stretch Mouth'd Rascalls will be starting regular weekly gigs. It'll be very, very soon.

Be kind to each other.




I saw the crazy homeless woman again tonight. After the El Cocal anniversary show, so I guess she did get back to Commerial Drive. And she was angry and aggressive tonight, and I couldn't look at her, I felt a knot in my stomach. It was kind of a confusing moment, and I haven't really cleared it all up in my head yet, I just didn't want to forget it altogether, I want to remember to address it here, if you get my meaning.

Anyway, then I came home and wrote two hilarious emails, so funny I was making myself crack up all over the place. I don't know, I'm on fire tonight. I kind of cheated, though, I think, because I signed them both with the same funny signature, so I feel like I stole someone's joke, except it was mine, so....but I'm going to end this the same way and you tell me....

Reader: (Whatever, stoner.)

Aaaaand scene.


See? Funny, right?