Ack. Pfffthbbttt.

Oh, the week just continues to annoy. More boy drama. The beauty maker is back, and tizziness has ensued. I am hiding today. Not getting out of my flannel jammies.

Start shooting the tv pilot this week and am very nervous about it. I'm sure it will go well, I just so much want the director to get what he wants out of my performance. I will get lots of sleep and drink lots of water and practice my character's voice all week to get it just right. Plus, I gotta Yiddish up some of my dialogue...good times.

Wallow wallow.

So cranky and crampy and ready to start a fight today. So mad that my bed is bereft of a loving soul. Trying to keep the hamster in my brain off the wheel, but he just spins and spins and spins. Stupid rodent.

The scary man who kicked my car did $900 worth of damage. Ass. ICBC will cover it except for my $300 deductible, and I the claim is good for two years, so I can get it fixed when I can afford it. Still, though, something really sticks in my craw about the whole incident. I think he really scared me. It's not very often that I feel really threatened by someone, but I really felt it from him.

Write, write, write. Do not dwell on boys....this is what I keep telling myself. It's fine while I'm rehearsing, or writing, but driving around delivering flowers there's lots of time to overcontemplate, same with curling up with tea and advil. Just so thinky.

Going to go see the therapist I used to see, with the kind help of my stepmother. Marg is the therapist's name. She was my dad's therapist and is pretty much retired, but says she's honoured to work with our family. That's pretty nice. I gotta get this hurt out of my heart. It's making it hard to accomplish things. I am getting so angry, or, I suppose, acknowledging how angry I am.

Good thing I have a room in the basement...good to be able to keep out of my roomies hair. Feeling genuinely unpleasant today.


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