11.06.2005

I'll have that hero without cheese.

Mm, mm, mm. Just had a great set at the Fox and Fiddle here in Toronto. Very good, indeed. Last week I had a fucking terrible set at the Living Well, oh, so bad. But it was nice to talk to some other comics tonight who had also done sets there and have them say what a terrible room it was, so that was heartening.

Anyway, tonight I tried a bunch of new stuff and it totally worked, which made me giddy, because it's stuff I've been kind of afraid to try in Vancouver, and now I feel like I can go back there having moved forward some. The new stuff is just much more me, which, as you know if you read my blog with any sort of regularity, is what I have been aiming for. There is a comic here in Toronto, his name is Aaron Berg, and I have found him to be very inspiring. He's just truthful and raunchy and himself, and represents to me so much of where I'm trying to go. I'm grateful just for his existence, frankly, and now feel this trip has been totally worth it, even if it goes down hill over the next week. Which I do not actually expect to happen.

Lots of family time coming up in the next couple of days. My bio dad, Ralph, has come to town for a couple of days from Montreal, which is great, because I wanted to be able to make it out there, but there's just not going to be any time. His girlfriend's daughter lives here, too, so they get a double daughter whammy. I haven't seen him in 3 and a half years, so that's sort of weird. Separate ends of the country, both of us poor, etc. He and my mom and a bunch of other family were planning to come see my show tonight, but they were all kind enough to bow out when I asked them to. It was causing me no end of anxiety. I think on the heels of last week's show I was all bent out of shape and I really needed to have a decent set before my parents started showing up. I don't know, people I know are way more pressure than strangers. I don't give a shit what strangers think of me, but what if people I know hate my work? That's just awkward for everyone. I'm sure they would be gracious and everything, but tonight I just couldn't take it. Anyway, they'll come to my Yuk Yuk's show on Tuesday and it will all be fine.

Still seriously convinced I want to move here. It's midnight on a Sunday night and restaurants are still open, people are out on the street, it still feels like a city. Vancouver is so quiet at night, I like the hustle here. Since I'm a night person, it feels like it's catering to me more. I get all antsy and restless in Van. Yes, yes, I will work this into my plan, I think. We'll see how things go when I get home and start doing more shows there. Maybe that will root me for a little while longer. Certainly going to write my solo show before I pick up and go. God, I'm so excited to finally do that. I have developed a lovely French Girl character while I've been here and I can't wait to try some stuff out with her. She's the perfect alter ego for me. (Makes me wonder about Altar Egos...priests with God complexes?)

Saw the most amazing art show yesterday. Was on my way home, just walking and walking, I do so much walking here, and came across this huge show. It's called Toronto Alternative Art Festival, TAAF, and it's in two old hotels here. The Drake and The Gladstone. They are beautiful spaces. Each hotel has turned the second floor rooms into either installations or little gallery spaces. If you've ever been to Artropolis in Vancouver it's like that, but good. I got a bit weepy, in fact, just that it existed. I spent a long time making sure I saw everything. I was so happy that when I left and found it had started to pour with rain I didn't care. I practically skipped home. I was drenched when I got home, and chilly, especially around the boobs. My boobs always get the most soaked and cold if I get caught in the rain, because they stick out so much. Cold boobies, me no likey. But I got in my jammies and had a hot bath, not in that order, and everything was much better. Then I stayed home and watched tv and had a nice, quiet evening. Lovely after all the shenanigans this week. And oh, have I been shenaniganizing. It's hard not to, with so many opportunities for fun and bad behaviour just staring me in the face at every turn. God, this place suits me.

Ok, sleep now, since I have to actually get out of bed tomorrow at a reasonable hour. You know, before noon.

Good night, wind. (It's shaking the house, it's so windy). Good night, streetcars. Good night, subway, (my hero). Huh, that was funny because a subway is an underground railroad, but Subway is a sandwich shop, (which I believe has been discussed here in the recent past), but to follow it up accidentally by saying my hero...that's funny. Because a hero is a person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life, but a hero is also a kind of sandwich. See, I'm makin' jokes even when I don't know I'm makin' jokes.

x
r.

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