I just want to say one other thing. I miss my dad like crazy this week. This month. Every day. But some days it still just creeps up on my in this sneaky way. I came to the coffee place to do internet stuff this morning and now I'm sitting here getting all teary faced and wishing there was a way to bring him back. I hate it. I want him here. I don't want him wandering around in the ether possibly knowing that I'm doing things that would make him proud. I want him here. I want to work with him. I'm so fucking sad. I hope there's no time limits on sad. I know after the year anniversary you are supposed to buck up or something, but...well. There it is. I gotta get outta here and go weep. Thanks for the ear.
ps- just as the tears started to actually drip off my chin, my friend Aresh walked by the window and came in and hugged me. I still have to go have a proper cry, but it was serendipitous, because he is a man who understands sadness and spends a great deal of time pondering the human condition. He is a sweet, good man.