Here's Something

I am having a weird time. Money so tight, makes me anxious. Though someone reminded me I have been in worse financial positions. I have to find a second job. Sigh. Or a different full time one. I am at an interesting and intense crossroads. I feel like now is the time I have to choose whether I want the big comedy life or the little island life, as it were, and if I want the little island life then I can casually and contentedly go about my business exactly as I am, but if I want the big comedy life, well....the hard work starts now. What I really want is a month alone in a cabin to get some writing done. I am petulant about my job interrupting my creative life. Blah blah. You don't need to say anything or anything, I'm working it out, but it's a really strange time. I've never felt so unsure and sure of myself at the same time. Trying to plan long term, feel a city move coming on. I think my mom is going to sell the apartment this year, so I have to stop feeling like I'll be in it the rest of my life and start packing again. Everything is different for 2008. Especially me. I won't get into the incredibly intense psychic phenomena I am experiencing, but sufficed to say that I feel like my brain is open to all the energy in the world, universe and it's a bombardment of stimuli. I feel like I can see right through people's skin and into their hearts, which is minorly disconcerting. I think I am figuring out how powerful I am and trying to figure out how to be in control of that power. Talking talking. Thinking thinking. I need silence.

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