Sorry I left that terrifying picture up for so long. I have a little pin that says "occasionally disturbs people". I think it's appropriate.

I am on my chaise, (which sounds infinitely more luxurious than it actually is), listening to the Canucks lose to the Kings. I do NOT want a television. But, oooh, I'd like to be watching that hockey game right now. Even though we are losing and doesn't look like we'll be bucking up in time to make some goals happen.

The Canucks are not on top of their game tonight and I am wondering if it's a coastal thing. I am way not on top of my game today, either. And my customers and co-workers all seem a bit...glazed. Is it because it's Christmas? Ich. Festive hasn't hit me yet. And could I ignore Chanukah more completely? Well, I suppose if I hadn't written that sentence the ignoring would be more complete.

Yeah, Christmas. There has got to be a better way.

Too many parties. We, as a society, need to band together and agree to spread our celebrating more evenly throughout the year. This is too much. The enjoyment becomes sort of high pitched and has real intent. The whole thing just kind of grosses me out, to be frank. I might make some cards or something, and I might chill out about it once I get up to the country. That feels better to me. Watching everyone consuuuuuume like a pack of starving hyenas come upon a fresh ibix carcass. (Yeah, I said ibix.) What a gong show.

In case you were wondering I am fucking crabby today. Or sad. Or fragile. Or worried. Or lonely. Or tired. Or aching. Or furious. Depends on the minute. Anxious about this time of year, and trying to pretend I'm not. Or trying to trick myself out of it. Or not entirely realizing that I'm pretending.

Ah, I gotta turn off the game and watch a movie.

Sigh. Very tepid about things today.

r.