Growing up.

I am snug in my new apartment. I have planted flower boxes and strung patio lanterns. I have a squirrel that eats my strawberries. He picks one, takes a bite of the tip, throws the rest away. Greedy squirrel!

The inside of the apartment is less organized than the patio, but you gotta start somewhere. Most of the kitchen stuff is unpacked, since there wasn't that much to begin with, but the clothes and sundries remain flung about, half in bins, hanging on the back of the chaise, shoved aside to make a clear path from the front door, through the kitchen, to the patio. Priorities. Doing a little bit each day, but am on hold for the completion of unpacking kitchen and bathroom due to plumbers trooping in here each weekday at 8am. They are repiping the whole building. I'll be quite pleased when it's all done and the shower works like a shower and nothing leaks and everything is shiny and all my things can go in their drawers and on their shelves and under their sinks.

I love it here. Love it, love it, love it. I have been waiting for this for a long, long time. I mean, I have been wanting it, but maybe not working towards it as vigorously as I have been since the winter. Further to that, the whole winter business, you should know that I am just coming along tickety boo. Adulthood and I are having a nice time getting to know each other. We think it'll last. I've not experienced this before, a consistent good mood, waking looking forward to going to work, very little anxiety, if any. I am, I think, a bit relentlessly cheerful. I'm fucking thrilled to be inside it, but it does consume me at the moment in a way not unlike depression did. I am filled with wonder at how it is to just feel good. I am swimming in it. I am pretty much only interested in doing things that keep that train on track. The good mood train. I think it must be what it's like to have laser eye surgery. I bet you don't get tired of waking up and being able to see. I'm not getting tired of waking up pleased, of being able to see a different way of doing things.

I am going out now to get some coffee and maybe a pastry, and possibly a newspaper. I might get a newspaper and read it while I drink my coffee. Heaven! I can do whatever I want in whatever order I want. Cause I live alone, and it's all paid for, and I have a job, and.....!! Sweet. I am giddy, giddy, giddy.

I even like my thighs. Things must be going well.

xo
r.