Phoney Business

Phone cut off. Contact me through my MySpace, just click on the link over there --> that says "Riel's Upcoming Shows". That takes you to my MySpace site. You can leave comments here and they will be emailed to me. I'm not gonna leave my email address here, for some reason. I am also not going to complain about my phone getting cut off, because it's my own shit, but I'm pretty sure it's not complaining to just state that it makes me anxious and grouchy. Which, of course, again, is my own doing, but, still, there it is.

I'm going to go cry over what a loser I am. Hopefully it will put me to sleep, otherwise I will only lay there and suffer from consternation. Which has nothing to do with fibre and everything to do with running in circles in my own head.

But I'm not making sense. My,my, how unusual. Fine. You know what? Let us consider this my nonsensical blog entry. A stream of conciousness, though not written unconciously, so perhaps not a stream, but, like, a controlled dam. Like, there's the river of conciousness and there's the dam on the river and there has been a big rainstorm of conciousness so I am just opening the dam a little, (the levy?), and relieving the pressure of all that conciousness building up. You see? Even if you don't see, I don't care.

I need a job. I hope all the job applying I've done lately makes something happen. I hope the jobs I've applied for via email respond via email and not via telephone. I'm kinda scuppered with the whole job search/no phone thing. Stupid me.

Yeah, that's the crux of it. Stupid me. I have to stop doing things that result in my feeling stupid. I don't do things like that all the time, but regularly enough. Or, conversely, perhaps I just need to stop feeling stupid about things. Foolish 34 year old that still can't keep her head abover water. (Oh, yes, Anonymous, I'm talking to YOU! I still have things I worry about, no matter how hard you've tried.)

I'm going to go grind my teeth and fall asleep. If I CAN fall asleep, what with all the worrying I'll be doing about my future dentistry bills due to teeth grinding.

x
r.