I just want to say one other thing. I miss my dad like crazy this week. This month. Every day. But some days it still just creeps up on my in this sneaky way. I came to the coffee place to do internet stuff this morning and now I'm sitting here getting all teary faced and wishing there was a way to bring him back. I hate it. I want him here. I don't want him wandering around in the ether possibly knowing that I'm doing things that would make him proud. I want him here. I want to work with him. I'm so fucking sad. I hope there's no time limits on sad. I know after the year anniversary you are supposed to buck up or something, but...well. There it is. I gotta get outta here and go weep. Thanks for the ear.
x
r.
ps- just as the tears started to actually drip off my chin, my friend Aresh walked by the window and came in and hugged me. I still have to go have a proper cry, but it was serendipitous, because he is a man who understands sadness and spends a great deal of time pondering the human condition. He is a sweet, good man.
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An attempt to avoid the maudlin. To think of absurdity and beauty as symbiotic. To be naked. I am endlessly fascinated with my own story.
3 comments:
Hey hon,
Just wanted to say a belated happy new year and chin up in my Scottish stiff-upper-lip manner. I know 2006 is going to be a great year for you. Now that the conservatives have won the election you have no excuse for not getting out of the country for a bit!
Lots of love,
CJ
Hey, who's CJ?
I didn't know you had another Scot in your circle besides me and my ain folk? How encouraging! Stiff upper lips rule sometimes! However, compacted lippage is usually only possible if fortified by ear-warming amounts of alcohol, some impromptu singing and/or dancing and a loud and probably inappropriate sarcastic outburst. Followed by, inevitably, snot-bubble-inducing tears at the end of the evening. At least, in my tribe that's how our stiffies work.
Loving you as always,
your Tartan Magnolia
you get the cheesy letter and photos?
Jam
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