Boom chica boom chica boom boom boom.

It has been quite a week. A WEEK????!! It feels like months. I arrived last Friday to a rousing chorus of the Hockey Night in Canada theme song....it's good to be where people know you so well. Started work on Saturday, prepping for the onslaught of public. Cleaning cleaning cleaning. Decorating everything with cedar boughs and twinkie lights....this place dresses up nice. It was strange to land in the middle of production, instead of being here as everyone else arrives, but so sweet to land in my Cabana....my teensy cabin in the woods, that has electricity(!!) so I don't have to stoke a fire and my home is always toasty. I have wine and cribbage and a stereo there, as well....

The show, "A Night in the Woods", is just wonderful. Funny, funny. It's a joy to be able to say so, as I'm always on the front lines with the public and they've been a bit complainy the last couple of years. They are absolutely thrilled to bits this year, and leaving so happy. Ahhhh....the laughter of children...and drunk adults. We've managed to stay on sleighs thus far, though it's very warm and we are nearly out of snow now. Seems unless there is a surprise snow storm, (unlikely, as the sun is glorifying us today), we will be on wagons tomorrow. Too bad, as it is significantly less magical on wagons, very bumpy.

We had a few preview shows, then the official opening Thursday night. We do three shows a day, 4, 6 and 8pm, with soup at 5 and dinner at 7. It's a hectic schedule, to be sure, but there is a rhythm we fall into that is pleasurable. Absolutely aces crew this year, it's a little smaller than usual, and all people who really know it here, so no one needs to be coddled, we all just go about our business and our pleasure feeling grateful to be here.

Our opening night party was sweet as pie, complete with drinking and eating and so much visiting and even a little breakdancing to top off the night. There is this really neat guy here, recently married to one of our box office divas, who is Tibetan. She met him while living in India for a year, working with Tibetan monks in exile. He is always smiling, and working so hard, and regaling us with tales of escaping terrible oppression. He has some grim stories, but they are fascinating. There is a particularly grim one to do with a can of Coca Cola and the immediate self expulsion of two tapeworms out his mouth.....you can imagine how gross it is to hear the whole thing. Gives me shivers. Anyway, he busted out with the breakdancing on opening...the guy is full of surprises. Topped off the drunken revelry with a good heat up in our cedar sauna, not for the feint of heart, and certainly not to be undertaken alone when full of boozy treats, for fear of passing out. But naked and happy and HOT. Sometimes, it's just what you need to get so hot here that it's nothing to wander around in the snow with nothing but your boots and a towel.

It's so strange that it looks like April here right now....mostly muddy with remnants of snow, but word on the street is VERY cold by Thursday. -15 celcius. Yikes. Now I'm feeling reassured about having packed so many warm things.

Had a good night out at the local Armstrong watering hole. Rosie's. We love a Rosie's night. Play the juke box, some pool, drink with townies. Some of whom I know, some of whom I give a wide berth. We have a day off today, so some of us, (not me, oddly), went for broke. So, at 3am I was woken from my perfect sleep by five of my colleagues, playing the harmonium and wearing Mexican wrestling masks and holding candles, scraping at my door. Let me say this. It was truly a creepy sight to wake up looking at. Especially in the woods. Especially at 3am. Especially without my glasses on. But great, too, you know, because how often does that happen? I was naked, so I stayed in bed, waiting to see if they would come in, but when they decided I wasn't playing, they left, moved on to someone else's cabin. So I waited patiently, 'til I heard the crunching of their feet in the snow returning, and quietly crouched in the dark until they were very close, when I yelled BOOOOOO! as loud as I could and scared the bejeezus out of them. Very satisfying and we laughed and laughed.

So today I am drinking tea and doing the Globe and Mail Saturday crossword, and will venture out in a bit to see Lemony Snicket in Vernon, then have dinner at my mummy's house.

Show-ER! Show-ER! That's my next big exciting move today.

What else.....oh, some other thoughts and feelings, but you know what? I'm just going to leave those for a bit.

Best of the season to ya'll....it's my birthday Tuesday. YAY!! More party!!

kisses,

r.

a room of my own

Oh, oh, oh. Wherever have I been. I do find time to be slipping by, eluding me. Life is full and rich, to quote my friend David Petersen. Every little droplet of this life.

I'm procrastinating from packing. I was perfectly on schedule all day, though running low on fuel as stayed up almost all night smooching. Heh heh. It's been a bit of a glowy few days in that department. I have no expectations, but I do have little fantasies. It's very new, and now we are both leaving for a little while, so that's good. I'd like time to just enjoy the idea before any reality sets in. The idea is so sweet. I can tell you this, it's been a long time since someone was so tender with me, so willing to express his delight in being with me. That's kind of awesome, no?

Oh, love. So wonderous, so fleeting.

I am off tomorrow morning to winter at the Caravan Farm Theatre. www.caravanfarmtheatre.com (Still haven't figured out how to make these links live, so cut n' paste, y'all). Ah, a cabin in the snowy woods. Yes, yes. These are good days.

I want to say this about the aforementioned boy....here's how he made me feel - like his hands were covered in beauty and as he touched a part of me he would leave some behind there, until I was all over beautiful.

I shan't gush any longer...but it'll be nice to think about on the long drive up to the country tomorrow.

Kindness, Love,

r.

Briefly.

So my dad's memorial was on Saturday....

Hm. You'll have to wait for details.

Oh. I apparently don't have a blog entry in me like I thought I did. Maybe I'm distracted by the SNOW outside...SNOW? For cryin' out loud. Snow. I'll say it again....forget it. You get the point. It's 2 degrees celcius out there right now. Bodes well for the future of the snowboarding season, not to mention the sleighriding season, but not so well for the rest of my evening vis a vis driving all over hell's half acre.

Plus, my brother and roommate are playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas in the other room, and yummy smells are coming from the kitchen, and I have half a beer in front of me in a nice little glass...

Anyway, just wanted you all to know I am still here, and will be back, regaling you with tales of my winter in winterland. www.caravanfarmtheatre.com for more details.

Snow. Seriously. Come on.

x
r.

Blame it on the barometric pressure. I do.

I realized last night why I like photographs of myself better than looking in the mirror. The mirror lies! I'm backwards! It's not the same as how people see me! Argh!

I am a dumbass today. I shopped all day yesterday trying to find something to wear to my dad's memorial. By the time I got home I had worked myself into a big ol' swivet worrying about what would be the right thing to wear, worrying that the flowers I'm arranging would be wrong, worrying, worrying, worrying. My head almost blew up. Thankfully I practiced trepanning and....no, I didn't. I did not drill a hole in my own head. Plus every time I spoke to my brother we argued. We are very jumpy, us two. Thank goodness our mother flies in tonight, maybe she can calm us down a bit. Or she'll get us really wound up. One or the other. But you gotta take the chance, because there's this kind of calming effect she has when she wants to that's only for us and only works on us. Motherly magic. Mummy. I love my mummy.

Gotta go. Tea's getting cold.

x
r.

Peaches and edible oil products.

You know what I learned this week? Canned peaches and cool whip makes me feel better. Not, like, healthy better, but emotionally better. Yum. And yuck. All at the same time. But mostly yum.

Shoulder pain less but still pervasive. I'm sure this weather isn't helpful. I feel like a great, grey thumb is pinning me down. And divine spittle is hitting me in the face. And even though I was up first thing this morning and out all day working, I still don't feel like I saw daylight. So in rebellion I'm getting under the duvet and putting in a movie. And it's only 3:20 in the afternoon! HA!

I seem to be in slightly better spirits today. I think being back at work and planning for the next couple of months is good for me. Plus, a lot of alone time this weekend was very, very good. The promise of fresh hair, (a little hairticulture, Warren says), and possibly a new frock doesn't make me sad, either.

Each day my sadness spreads out, like viscous liquid, slowly escaping from a vessel and becoming an ever widening puddle. Thick and quiet, taking up more and more space, but thinning, too. So that it is present always, but the veil is fine, like silk, allowing glimpses of shadows and figures on the other side. I'm sure, and I'm told, that this mourning will take many forms, over a long time, and I'm sure, and I'm told, that the tears will come forcefully and randomly. But right now, this moment, I just feel wrapped in the warmth of having known my dad, and feel not bereft, but grateful, and full.

Love is remarkable.

x
r.