Little bug.

As in, I think I have a little bug. It's been plaguing me for days, and I am logie and hollow eyed. I may have already said this. My brain is not with me. I don't know where it is. I wonder when it's coming home. So logie I slept through most of the hockey game. Back to bed now, for a long night's sleep, before what seems like a busy week, even though I can't figure out why I think that. A few things pushing ahead in the medical department this week, I guess, makes me a bit anxious. Oh, and the show on Saturday. Right. That thing. Sick feeling in stomach. Luckily I have very sexy new shoes and sexy shoes always fortify me on stage.

I will tell you all about how I am moving forward in the healing department, healing of the fractured mind, etc., maybe tomorrow or something. Meantime I feel like I'm hallucinating, like swatting things away from my face that I'm sure are not really there. Just on some other planet entirely. Okay, though, you know. Nervous, but not upset. Feeling good. Even when I'm not feeling good, I'm riding it out. Positive things. Scared but not scared. And, obviously, totally able to articulate it.

Shag it, I'll be back later in the week.

xo
r.

Knock knock.

Hello, you lot. I am still here. Have moved away from Kitsilano and the untenable situation, into the cushiest living environment ever. It is such a pleasure to come home.

This particular evening I am home from a 13 hour work day, at my regular job and then bartending an event. My feet are a bit tired, and my eyes, but my spirits are good. April has been a very up and down month, lots of down, but lots of realizing myself and getting back to the basic goals I laid out for myself this winter.

I feel a bit incoherent at the moment, actually. I wanted to write something, to get back in the habit of it. But tonight may not be the right time. Perhaps tomorrow while the Canucks are getting their tushies smacked by Anaheim. I am loving watching hockey this year. Steak and hockey. So Canadian, so good.

I have booked a comedy show on May 5th. Nervous as hell, if you want to know the truth, but gonna do it anyway. Have to test the waters. Haven't booked another because I want to see how it feels.

Today, this moment, I am contented. And I have an egg salad sandwich and a cookie calling my name. I will make an effort to write more, I do miss it. Thank you all for your patience.

xo
r.

The following is an excerpt from a conversation over messenger with my friend Murray tonight. Happy Easter!

Dr. Rock says: Hey Riel

Hahn solo. says: inksta

Dr. Rock says: don't suppose you're blogging are ya?

Hahn solo. says: right now?

Dr. Rock says: since you're online and all

Hahn solo. says: um..nope...why...were you hoping for a new entry?

Dr. Rock says: well, far be it from me to complain. But I always enjoy a new entry

Hahn solo. says: heh. i liked your newest entry a lot.

Dr. Rock says: thank you

Dr. Rock says: It was rattling around in my head for a while

Hahn solo. says: it's only been since march 30th that i wrote one. how often are you hoping i'll write in it?

Dr. Rock says: I know. And your last post explained that it probably wouldn't be that frequent. Like I said, I'm not going to pester you.

Hahn solo. says: that last one was kind of serious, if i recall. i don't think it's a good idea for me to write in it these days....i seem to be writing a lot of, uh, racially, uh, controversial, material right now...

i have dug deep down to my core and found some things that are not that pretty there.

Dr. Rock says: racially?

Hahn solo. says: well, it all started when i saw this yellow mini cooper the other day and noticed that it was an asian guy driving it.

Dr. Rock says: ah

Hahn solo. says: i'm sure you can extrapolate.

then i got myself into a bit of a hole at a party the other day trying to explain why i thought black guys were better at high fiving than white guys.

Dr. Rock says: hahaha

what's wrong with that?

Hahn solo. says: the hole i dug myself into was wrong.

Dr. Rock says: hm

Hahn solo. says: because it was all white guys, so i think they were a bit sensitive about the slight.

Dr. Rock says: oh jeez. give me a break. it's only funny if it's a gross generalization.

besides, it's true

Hahn solo. says: yeah.

or the truth.

exactly!

it was problematic because my supposition was predicated on the theory that eye contact is the key to a solid, consistent high fiving career.

and i think that eye contact is a sign of confidence.

Dr. Rock says: I see

Hahn solo. says: and i think black men are more confident than white men.

but maybe it's a canadian/american thing.

Dr. Rock says: yeah

Hahn solo. says: or east/west.

Dr. Rock says: I did learn a pretty sweet hi-fiving tip though.

Hahn solo. says: but i think white men's liberal guilt has rendered them a bit stymied.

if you say "look at the guy's elbow"...

Dr. Rock says: On this hi-fiving forum I read sometimes

okay, you've heard it

Hahn solo. says: that's what started our whole high fiving discussion.

Dr. Rock says: hm

Dr. Rock says: they must subscribe to the same "Handz Up" newsletter

Hahn solo. says: high fivin' nerds.

Dr. Rock says: seriously, it's bigger than frisbee in some areas

Hahn solo. says: and the injuries are very severe, i've heard, when you are just a fraction of an inch out of alignment.

Dr. Rock says: That's what makes it so "x-treme"

Hahn solo. says: bah, i say, to xtreme. even gum is xtreme now. there has to be a next level. severe.

severe winter sports.

Dr. Rock says: haha

that's true. I remember when gum was this underground thing

Hahn solo. says: i know.

i hate the new gum.

it was so much better when it first came out.

Dr. Rock says: haha

totally

Hahn solo. says: i don't even chew it anymore. i'm that bored of it.

but i guess that's because i knew about gum before anyone.

i dated the guy who's dad invented gum, so we got to try it before it even came out.

bootleg gum sessions.

Dr. Rock says: haha. "gum sessions"

Dr. Rock says: that's funny

Hahn solo. says: i'm fuckin' on fire lately.

Hahn solo. says: would you mind if i reproduced word for word our conversation as a blog entry?

Dr. Rock says: no, not at all

Hahn solo. says: cause i think it's funny.

this conversation.

Dr. Rock says: i've been laughing

Hahn solo. says: yeah, me too.

or, rather, me, too. to get the punctuation correct.

Dr. Rock says: is this part going in too?

Hahn solo. says: only up to this point, because now you know you're being published everything will change.

Dr. Rock says: yeah, its not pure art anymore

Hahn solo. says: exactly.

it's severe art now.

Dr. Rock says: nice!

Hahn solo. says: thank you.

Hahn solo. says: little bow.

Dr. Rock says: hehe